The Spirit is Heavy

This is what God gave me during a midnight hour:

Rip the sky open, and rip it wide, 

Unblanket the heavenly, two worlds collide.

It's your face we long to see, 

Show us Your glory, set the captives free.

Take us up O God, like the days of Zion, 

Innocence like a dove, boldness like a lion. 

Consume us with the flame of your jealous love, 

Dump the bowls on me from the realm above. 

Your spirit falls with power and glory

I see You as You, O how could you adore me?

Burn my lips with the coal from Your heavenly throne, 

The seraphims cry out, your holiness shone. 

Captivated by your beauty, romanced by your heart. 

Bind my spirit to yours through galaxies apart.

Fan the flame of my desires and teach me your ways, 

Its your presence I long for all of my days. 

Unsustainable hunger and unquenchable thirst, 

For passion to ignite its You I'll put first

May Your kingdom come and your will be done

Without you, I'm nothing, my God you are One

Desperation arising, but hope everlasting. 

Make me tender and meek, it's my heart You're unmasking

You see me as holy, blameless, and pure, 

A daughter and child, You're mine and I'm yours

King of Kings as my Father, Abba I cry

The Spirit of adoption is where I reside

In Your presence I behold all that you are

The only way to respond is an alabaster jar

You're worth it all, I've counted the cost. 

Longevity to sustain and save the lost

Help me spirit with eyes for the mission

Only by Your Lordship God, strength through submission. 

May today mark the day that I love you the least

Jesus, Messiah, Son of God, and High Priest

As we await the day to usher you in, 

We will prepare the way, make us ready for Him

The day will be glorious, yet fearful for some, 

Because the Spirit and the Bride say come. 

Circuit Riders

Lately, as I run and spend time out in Makoshika I encounter the Lord in such intense tangible ways. My group of friends and I are doing a 2 week School of Circuit Riders through YWAM in August. In this month beforehand, we're really praying into what it looks like for each and every one of us and things we should be expecting from the school. I want all of us to really use our God given gifts and invest in them and operate in them within the team. Themes and trends were starting to form such as "Hunger and more intimacy, to walk and operate in the fullness of the Spirit, awakening the Bride and the urgency of the hour." I was praying for the team as a whole yesterday while listening to Misty Edwards "Fling Wide" album and I got a crazy revelation. Every member on our 8 person team was intricately and uniquely fashioned by the Maker of the universe and holds a very special place in His heart. We carry hope in their hearts and a promise of eternity. We are intercessors, lovesick martyers, worship leaders, evangelists, prophets, and teachers with all one thing in common: desperation for Jesus. It was something revealed to me that was so simple, but yet so Divine. That is the most important gift of all that was getting looked over. The gospel is simple and our one hearts' desire is for people to fall in the love with the Son of God, the Hope of Glory, the man, Jesus. To have substance living on the inside, fulfilling the desire that nothing else in this world ever could. We have individual gifts but the common thread within our team is that we were orchestrated together to go hard after the goal of bringing the kingdom to the earth. We carry the fingerprint of God fueled by the Holy Spirit. Hunger is the invitation to the deeper things of Him. The language is prayer, the rhythm is worship, the passion is intercession, and the overflow is evangelism. We live to see people living in freedom, consumed by a jealous God who set all things in motion by a mere breath, and to be motivated by His love to do the hard thing. We are. the Circuit Riders.

me+cat=revelation

As I was sitting at a chair in my dining room the Lord downloaded a revelation to me through my cat, of all things. He was rubbing up against my legs and weaving in and out of both of them and meowing and pawing my leg. I was perplexed and wondered why he always did that, so I just sat there, and stared, and watched the repetitive mannerisms. After awhile, I picked him up and was stroking the top of his head as he began to purr. I noticed he had a huuge bloody scab right below his mouth that was obviously from a cat fight from the previous night. As I ran my finger over the wound, he pulled away and was very resistant. I continued to pet him and hold him so tight and wouldn't let him go and all he could do was fight it. I just wanted to comfort him so he would stop fighting. This was something so simple yet so profound I was able to recognized with a redeemed heart and through spiritual eyes. I felt something in my heart shift as I recognized my cat and I being so similar to me and my walk with God. He gave us his Spirit so we can learn how to abide, to be so close to Him that we are one. To weave in between His legs, to rest in His arms. God placed that desire and longing in our hearts to be in that place with Him, but sometimes we're like my cat who want to go outside on our own and do things our way. To experience the world, to fight with flesh and blood. This results in battle woulds, scars, that only Jesus can heal through His blood on the cross. That only will be restored if we open our hearts and let him into the deepest most hurting places of our lives. Nothing is better than a fresh touch or filling of the Holy Spirit or an affirming word from a Father. That's what my heart beats for, that's what makes me "purr". In this world, it's a battle for the soul. A war raging all around us that's competing for our attention and the affection of our hearts. We must keep focused on what's eternally important, on truth and our hope of glory. We will become what we gaze upon so be fixated and focused on the perfect, 100% God, 100% Man, Jesus Christ. Let nothing else have your affection and attention but that alone. Undivided and wholly devoted. The fire in His eyes is an all-consuming fire, after encountering His love, I am not the same. I begin to be consumed with the things that are on His heart and I am overwhelmed but it's by His power that I can do these things for the kingdom of heaven.

Pure Goodness

My King, my Savior, my Abba, my Lord, my Hope of Glory. Thank you for revelations, for friends, for your voice and the guidance of your Holy Spirit. Teach me obedience, and patience in this season of waiting, and refining. My hearts desire is to carry Your heart, to see Your fingerprints across the globe, to see Your kingdom come and Your will be done, as earth as it is in Heaven. Without you I have nothing, and with nothing I have everything in You. I'm desperate for more of Your presence and how I long to be a part of what You're doing in the hearts and in the nations You breathed life into. I'm thankful that You know my hearts desires and my adventurous spirit was God given so help me to trust You more, Your sovereignty, Your promises, and Your continual faithfulness. To hold fast to Your spoken word and to not rush ahead of Your timing. I'm on Your time clock and Your ways are higher than mine. I will delight in today and everything You've done. I will choose You above all else; Lord remove any selfish ambition or motivation and create in me a pure heart and a steadfast spirit. Open hand, willing heart, lead me, take me where ever you want Jesus, even if it's here. Teach me to be more like you every day. I love you Lord and am thankful for who You are. Your character is a non-negotiable and will never change and to that I will cling all my days. <3

Caught in the Arms of Grace

Grace [greys] -(noun): mercy, pardon, manifestation of favor, especially by a superior 

"God pronounced original grace. The other side of the story is when we, finite fallen humans, head off on our own, ignoring the Giver. This headstrong straying we have called original sin, meaning our freedom to choose the not so good, to turn aside from original grace. Ironically, this freedom is itself the most unique grace given humankind by God, the capacity to choose our own way, which must necessarily entail the possibility of choosing poorly. Because we have not always chosen the most graceful path, we have ended up in some miserable, blind alleys along the way. When we grasp our predicament and call for the help we had previously spurned, amazing grace comes to the rescue."


I am so thankful for God's grace, mercy and the power of the cross. I have been continually receiving revelation of the significance of the blood Jesus shed to cover over all of my iniquities and short comings. The victory is already won and the sins I will commit tomorrow are already taken care of. He is my hope of glory, undeserved, without question, and without condition. God also extends grace to our human comprehension and understanding to behold our Maker and know Him as He is to be known. The truth is, we are all only saved by His grace and though we may see ourselves unworthy, He still longs to be in communion with us. 

The work of the cross was to give us the Holy Spirit to regenerate a spiritual life of apprehending God.

God is here, and there, and there is no place where He is not. No point is nearer to God than any other point. After Jesus died on the cross, the veil was torn so we can now enter into the Holy of Holies with boldness and grace; He is closer than our skin. God is longing to reveal Himself to us in some way or another. I want a revelation of God like Moses had. I want my face to glow with supernatural light because of his encounter with the living God. This pursuit is only successful because of God's grace. I long to have a habit of spiritual response and awareness of the divine Presence and faith is the only thing that will enable this spiritual sense to function. 


Receptivity...response to or desire to have; increased by using or destroyed by neglect. I want God to show me His glory, and desire Him more desperately and earnestly, in touch with the spirit as a reality as much as the physical world. I want to be in communication and respond to God by passionate pursuit of Him every day. I'm thankful that He knows the depths of my heart, my feelings, and He continues to gently love me, and woo me into His presence. The power of your grace and mercy is enough to get me through every day. To count each one a victory with your Spirit beckoning me to You and helping me to persevere. When I think I can figure things out with my human reasoning is when you challenge my trust and obedience. It is confronting to my head because I can only comprehend so much of You God. Your facets are endless, God, give me new perspective, holding fast to your character, and meditating on your wonderful works, and on your glorious splendor and Majesty. You are the One who sustains all things and satisfy the desire of every living thing and those who fear you. 


"You have searched me and you know me, you understand my thoughts from afar, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Where can I go from your Spirit or where can I flee from your Presence? You knitted together my most inward parts, my soul knows it is well, and precious are my thoughts to you, O God."   psalm 139

it's the simple things..

Abba, I'm so thankful for you today and always. The way you romance my heart with something as simple as a beautiful sunrise over the volcano as I do my two step dance with you, running along the ocean. The rhythm of my steps sometimes feels as though it's Your own heart beating through me. Today I choose an attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving for what You have done in my life, and most of all because You are worthy of it all. You give me strength when I have none. You show me what it means to be a woman of integrity and live with a holy fear over my life. You've shown me the importance of self-control and dying to my flesh every single day. I know that words carry weight to them and life and death lie in the power of the tongue. It cannot be tamed but out of the overflow of the heart, my mouth speaks. I represent you with joy and honor so let that permeate throughout my entire life. Let it be one that is pleasing to You. Fill me up God with more of you. I surrender my heart to you and transform it into a heart that knows your heartbeat for life, beauty, justice, and peace. I want to be marked by prayer and being in Your word. That I will know your character so well that I can bank on who you say you are, Father. I thank you again for this time in Hawaii and how captivating You are, how intricate Your work is. You are the pulse of my heart and I choose to be led by the voice of the Holy Spirit as today will be the day that I love You the least. 

"I will proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving and declare all your wonders. I will bless the Lord at all times and let His praise continually be on my mouth." -A lesson from the life of David in the Psalms :) 

Prophetic Words

How I've enjoyed this time in Hawaii being with some of my best friends JR and Ashley Bagwell before heading home. It's been such a joy and makes my heart smile thinking about all of the adventures and journeys we have yet to experience together as we sit in the "glory room" (bed room) casting vision together. It's such a blessing to have them in my life and do this walk with Jesus together. We were praying for each other the other night and the  Lord gave us some words over each other and for encouragement in this season to come. These were some of the ones that were prayed over me:

Plowing the soil of your heart: making my heart soft in this season of preparation and expectancy to hear God's word resulting in growth

Train going around a mountain: Not sure about the destiny I'm going, all I know is that I'm on a one way track and that's my life led by my Abba. A train is a large ministry influencing many people and mountain is a place of revelation or meeting with God or God's glory

Sky: high things of God in the spirit 

   -in the sky was clouds, a door, a lion, northern lights, me in scrubs

Clouds: heavenly manifestation, glory presence of God

Lion: conquering nature of Jesus, powerful spirit

Door: an opening, the way, possibility, grace through Jesus

Nursing: healing anointing, caring service and minister gift

The Lord also spoke to never forget the "seasons of life" we walk through. Be sensitive to transition and changes. While I was praying yesterday, Holy Spirit gave me a picture of a big, green, full tree, and said "I'm growing you into this big tree but I'm also pruning you and leaving branches here in Kona. It has been a major time of grown and going to new depths but you will not produce fruit until you go home. Just continue to abide in the fullness of Me and the fullness of you in Me."

I'm so excited for the things in store back home and I'm so thankful that I do not have to know my plans because God does. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but at the same time I think God doesn't reveal certain things to us because they're too big to comprehend. It's a walk of grace and trust and the journey with Jesus I wouldn't trade for the world...just something to sacrifice my life for. 

"I give it all to you God, trusting that You'll make something beautiful out of me."